I think, I’m not sure, but I think this is the first time I’ve done a Resident Evil comic.

Or a Resident Evil/Team Fortress 2 mashup, anyway.

If you were never fortunate enough to experience the amazing dialogue featured in the original Resident Evil, take a gander at this fantastic scene here.

So I’ve been seeing my dentist recently.  Normally, this is not cause for celebration or even worth noting, but I haven’t been to my dentist in two years.  This is pretty rare stuff.  Everything is looking good in tooth-land at the moment, but things weren’t always this way… say, two years ago, for example.  So sit back and relax, my friends, for our story begins…

I called my dentist after an old filling broke.  We set up an appointment, and a few weeks later my dentist (who we shall refer to as… Randy) called me out of the waiting room and onto the chair.  Everything seemed normal: the chair was reclined, Randy turned on the light, he put the little mirror thing in my mouth, but then…

“Huh, that’s interesting.”

Now, Randy (and dentists in general, I imagine) say “that’s interesting” all the time just to mess with patients, which for some reason they think is funny.  This was not a joke “that’s interesting,” this was an actual ”that’s interesting.”  The only was to make this feel more real is to put the words themselves in italics.

“Huh, that’s interesting.”

That’s better.

Anyways, I asked what was so interesting.

“Your gums have grown into the original cavity.”

Uh-huh, I thought, and then asked what we should do.

“Well, I’m going to have to cut the gums out of there.”

Super.

Randy got up from his stool and grabbed a box out from which came a small, pen shaped device connected to the box by a cable.  Then came a flat pad about half the size of s sheet of paper.  Randy plugged the box into the wall with another cable, and told me to lift up my shoulder.  Once I did, he slid the pad under me and told me to lie back down.

“Do you have a pacemaker?” he asked.

“No… are… are you grounding me?”  I replied.

“Yes, this tool here is an electric scalpel.”

Super.

Randy got to work cutting out my over-adventurous gums, stopping only to drain the blood that was shooting all over my mouth.  As hard as I tried to stay still during the process, I eventually squirmed in the chair and-

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

My body swung up from the chair and my arms were bent out in front of me, shaking.  When I moved, my body momentarily wasn’t touching the grounding pad.

In other words, I was electrocuted.

“Are you alright?” Randy asked.

I exhaled heavily, smoke came out.  ”Yeah,” I said, “but my mouth kind of tastes like burnt bacon.”

Maybe this is the reason I don’t go to the dentist that often.

I’ve been totally wanting to tell that story in a blog post since the time I started the comic, but I never had a good reason to until now.  Sweet.

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