I get that this is totally infantile, but I am now super interested in measuring the weight of all my poops.  Like, I didn’t know this was something that would be a major part of my life until I noticed their bathroom scale on Saturday.

This is going to happen.  I will record the weight of my bowel movements and get excited when I occasionally set a new high score.

This is reality.

My poops will blot out the sun.