Living in New York, you come across a lot of people whose gender is… up in the air. But if you’re a smooth talker like me, you can get yourself out of any social gaffe.

Speaking of such a person, a customer yesterday was all gussied up with pastel makeup that made her look more of less like a porcelain clown doll, some scary shit in the realm of IT. Anyways, she handed me a business card with a link to her website, where she promised I’d find “electrifying photos.” Not wanting to be rude, I took the card, but just before she left she told me not to view the website on a work computer, cause it might get me fired.

I have not yet visited the site, but if I ever get the urge to see some racy pics of a fifty year old clown woman, I know where to go.