There are some places in the world where the shit, shower, shave (hereafter refered to as the “Holy Trinity”) is of utmost importance. To the average person, who enjoys the benefit of a home to relax in while not at work, the Holy Trinity is not vital; there is plenty of time to do any amount of the three, and in no real particular order.

For the cursed few of us that don’t have free time during the day, the Trinity must be executed with speed and precision. Unfortunately, speed hinders precision, and mistakes are made. Nicking yourself while shaving is one thing, but there is no feeling in this life or the next worse than having your stomache gurgle just as you step out of the shower. It doesn’t matter how much you dry yourself, that toilet paper wont hold, and as you begin to clean much more of the bathroom than you had anticipated, regret will wash over you, and the moment of shame will be forever ingrained in your memory.