Now I’m not sure that I’d ever actually do this; there are a few reasons (beyond general laziness) that I would not:

1. Getting a custom Magic 8-Ball made. How does one even go about doing that?

2. It would take a lot of hate on my part to want to do this.

Then again, maybe the evil 8-ball would be a blessing in disguise. I mean, surely the chick wouldn’t actually believe that my friend is a sex offender. Perhaps she will have that special, unique sense of humor that appreciates the joke and fall in love purely for that reason. What I’m saying here is this: I am a modern day cupid, and I wish to share my gift with the world.