Corpse Run 042: Logic
I’d make a sadface, but no expression composed of punctuation can fully represent my sorrow over the game that is Castlevania: Lords of Shadow.
In one of my rare moments of ‘WAKE UP, SHEEPLE,” I submit to you the following:
–LoS’s combat is taken directly from God of War
-LoS’s wall hugging, climbing and jumping sure feel like Prince of Persia
-LoS’s titan fights are, without a shadow (double pun lolz) of a doubt ripped from Shadow of the Colossus
It appears as though Konami is operating under the impression that the more games it imitates, the better it is. Meanwhile, all the things that made the Castlevania series great in the first place (exploration, memorable tunes, and, you know, Dracula) are all gone from this newest addition to the series.
Gabriel Belmont has it pretty bad. Not only is his wife fucking dead, but he is the star of the shittiest Castlevania game I’ve ever played. No wonder Konami filled this game with random boobs for the player to stare at.
Titan Fight: “Quick Time Event to climb a monster made of stone and fur, and hit it on it’s weak point causing it to spurt out black blood and die. Congratz, next boss please”
Colossus Fight: “Figure out how the hell you’re even supposed to get up onto that thing oh god it’s huge. Climb up the fur of the monster made of stone and moss/fur finding the major and minor rune things to deal damage to the monster with your special sword, because there’s no way in hell you’ll do it otherwise. Oh and try not to fall of because that thing will try to through you to the ground. It will spurt out black blood as you stab it. Then it dies. Collapsing slowly. The music is sombre, but you wonder if you’re even doing the right thing. You just killed a living thing. All for a cause, but do the ends justify the means?”