Ok, let’s talk about CATS.  We all saw the trailer and we all did a double take at how questionable the design choices were.

CATS SPOILERS BELOW… if that matters to you.



Now, anyone who has seen me livestream knows I love musicals.  It might be a surprise to learn that I had never seen Cats before.  There was a commercial for it on TV a lot when I was a kid, but outside of that one song “Memory”, I knew nothing about the plot.

Well, I saw the movie and…

…I still don’t know what the plot is.

There is no plot.

I mean, there is… but only barely.  It is basically a two hour fever dream where numerous cats introduce themselves through song until the credits roll.  This is not a joke; cat after cat sings a song about themselves (sometimes assisted by one or more cats) and then disappears into the background, never to have a major moment in the movie thereafter.  There is no cohesion, there is no arch, there is no growth of any meaningful kind.

Cats introduce themselves and then it’s over.

It’s horrendous.

Folks are freaking out about how creepy the cats look.  Sure, they look weird, but the true horror of Cats is that it is on its own already a terrible musical.  I have zero clue how this show ever got popular.  The songs are catchy on their own, but that’s it.  They are neat, cute songs in a vacuum, but that’s not how a musical works; the songs must shape and drive the narrative.  Cats is a directionless ship.

That said, I implore you all to see it.  You must take in the majesty of this beautiful mess.  Cats is a triumph in confusion and everyone owes themselves the favor of taking part in the nightmare.