Corpse Run 505: Buzzkill
LIVESTREAM UPDATE:
Hi guys! I’m terribly sorry about this, but I have a work call on Friday night. This came up on short notice. Unfortunately that means there won’t be a stream this week… sorry again!
We’ll reconvene next Friday!
See you then!
END LIVESTREAM UPDATE!
Yesterday was April Fools Day… I got my fool on pretty early.
…around 8pm the day before, in fact.
The tag team of feeling hungry and not wanting to take the time to cook is often a dangerous combination. After listen to my stomach gurgle for an hour or so I walked a block to the McDonalds near me and figured “hey, so long as I’m eating garbage, I may as well eat a lot of garbage.”
I ordered two McDoubles and three McChickens from the (more than a) dollar menu, received them in a greasy paper bag, and walked back home in the rain.
Let’s get the gross part out of the way: yes, I ate all of it… in less than ten minutes, even. I also slathered the sandwiches with a super salty sesame sauce…
…you know, cause this meal needed more sodium.
Food consumed and hunger satisfied (ish), I went about my business and eventually went to bed.
…then I woke up an hour later. Stomach… pain. Urge to go to bathroom… astronomical.
In the interest of sparing the details, what this boils down to is that I spent forty-five minutes on the toilet, never going more than five minutes without something evacuating my person…
…and not always from the same place.
I hope I’ve learned my lesson: never again McDonald’s, never again.
Oh, you’ll be back. They ALWAYS come back.
I’m convinced that McDonalds either puts something in their food that makes you forget what it does to you, or there’s some kind of brain malfunction that lessens the memories of your last post-McDonalds dump session.
I’d even liken the second one to how women can complain about how much hell they go through during pregnancy, yet happily do it again. The brain lies to us about the pain.
McDonald’s does not serve food, what they serve is unfit for animal consumption let alone human consumption. That being said, I’m certain that the put something in the cheese that is addictive. My husband hates McDonald’s with a passion, but every so often he would get a craving and go back and buy something, take two or three bites and remember why he hated it and throw it away.
He decided to experiment one time and bought several menu items in the hopes of narrowing down the thing that kept dragging him back. It finally came down to only the stuff that had the cheese on it being the thing he liked for the one or two bites. So the next time he got the craving for McDonald’s food he just bought one thing that had the cheese on it and took the cheese off and took two bites out of it.
Yup, he didn’t even have to touch the rest of the sandwich he bought, the two bites of the cheese satisfied his craving and then he was disgusted by the flavor again. At that point he said “Right, they’re putting something in the cheese that’s mildly addictive, but it doesn’t override your basic taste buds”. So he quit cold turkey, and you know what?
He actually went through mild drug withdrawal symptoms for about a month, which really solidified his views on what they it. He hasn’t gotten a single craving for that crap since. He’s been off their crap for the better part of two years now, and he doesn’t miss it at all, now the very thought of eating any of their “food” turns his stomach.
I also have a lady friend who stopped eating there when she got a service dog. The dog wouldn’t let her go into a McDonald’s at all, the first time she tried he stopped her and just stood growling at the building. She thought that he might have had a bad experience with that particular store so she tried a different one, nope, he wouldn’t let her go near that one either.
He also started to growl when she got within a block of a McDonald’s, even if they were just driving by in a car. She figured out that it was something that he was smelling that he just didn’t like and his training was to keep her safe so he wouldn’t let her near it.
She decided to test it once by having a friend buy a couple of sandwiches from a McDonald’s and put them in a different container before coming over. He dog caught wind of it before he ever got to the door and he started barking and growling at the guy like he was going to attack him till he put the container down and backed away.
Her dog stopped growling at her friend and just kept barking and growling at the container, so she stopped eating at McDonald’s right then and there. She said whatever they put in their food, her service dog didn’t like and that was good enough for her. He dog never reacts to any other fast food place, just McDonald’s.
I dont know what the hell goes on in American McDonalds because from the horror stories I keep hearing it seems like something out of a dystopian novel. I live in Sweden, and I’ve never had any problems either with the food, which always tasted perfectly fine to me, nor the restaurants themselves. We do have higher food standards here, but from what I keep hearing, it sounds like US McDonalds is runnign some sort of conspiracy theory stuff.
I’ve done the thing described in the strip today. Luckily I had cancelled my meeting with my professor the day before.
This comic actually reminded me to turn off my alarm since I’m off tomorrow xD Thanks!
I consider myself lucky that McDonalds restraurants in our country do not have a “one dollar” equivalent. Would really mess with my plan “-20 lbs” till the midsummer. Opening of pizza place in the near mall did not help.