My butt was cleansed this weekend by a bidet.  While I was initially excited to learn that my girlfriend’s bathroom had a bidet, I didn’t use it the last few times I was there.  This weekend though, this was the weekend.

There was a certain shock factor to having the water make contact.  I didn’t really know what to expect, but when the stream began, I was certainly not expecting what it felt like.  My mouth instantly opened wordlessly, but never closed; it stayed wide open… maybe eeking out a barely audible “ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.”

If you think that was too many “h”s, you’d be incorrect.  I was frozen in shock for what felt like forever, and after ages I was finally able to hit the button to stop the spray.

My butt will never be the same.

I mean, it was certainly clean and after some drying up wipes I felt great, but I dunno if this is something I’d use on the regular.

At the very least, it’ll take some getting used to.