I was invited to a wedding, so my time to make today’s strip was severely limited, resulting in the one panel baby you see above. Every time I break in a fresh towel, I make an earnest attempt to remember what body parts are dried where. By day three or four, however, I’ll forget and have crotch towel in my face.

Not pleasant. Squeaky clean, but not pleasant.

So, about this wedding:

I had never been to a wedding before, so I wasn’t really sure what to expect. About 99% of what I know about weddings was learned from movies: there’s a bride, a groom, families, food, booze, terrorist plots, cold feet, etc. The other 1% was gleaned from newspaper articles where some tragedy was averted by a wedding party, such as a guy attempting to commit suicide by jumping off a bridge close to a wedding reception being dragged from the water by the groom, who happens to be a lifeguard… or something.

Anyways, I mentioned this to my friend, and about 5 minutes later, a group of Kayakers were going down the river just beyond the priest and rabbi (joint faith wedding) when a large boat was heading straight for them.

Oh shit… this is it, I thought. This is how those newspaper stories start. I began to loosen my tie; if this was about to go down, I was totally gonna swim out there to rescue them.

As it turns out, the boat did not hit the kayakers. While relieved, I was remained vigilant during the ceremony, only getting nervous when some jet-skiers and a tugboat happened on by.

Concerning the subject of me not being weird at a wedding, the ceremony went off without a hitch (other than best man and oft mentioned Rich Rodriguez dropping the ring); the weather was beautiful, the food delicious, and the families thrilled with their children. My face literally hurts right now, as I’ve never smiled so much in one day.


Now, I’m tasked with getting home… oy.