Richard asked me to go see a ball game with him today; we went and that game was totally awesome (went into extra innings). That would have been the topic of this installment of Kat’s Korner… had I not been held by the police.

I took the train home around 11:00pm Tuesday night, and by 11:45ish, a police officer asked me to get off of the train.

“Do you know why I took you off the train?” she asked.

I said I did not. According to the officer, I was obstructing seats, which means that the manner in which I was sitting would keep other passengers from sitting down.

That’s all well and good… but I was the only person in the train car. Me. Only me. Myself and I weren’t even there, they were smart enough to call for a cab. Despite the fact that there was no one to obstruct, she began to write me a ticket. During this time, two trains passed by. Now that it was past midnight, there would be a significantly longer wait for any more trains, and I wasn’t even out of Brooklyn yet. Suddenly, a one hour train ride turned into two.

She handed me my ticket (50 $*@&%*^ dollars) and we chatted politely as I waited for the next train. I got on, and sped off to Manhattan…

…where the N train was no longer running to Queens due to construction. I had to take a train back downtown, then hop the 7, then get to Queens, then transfer again to get home. Suddenly, a two hour train ride turned into three.

All during my transfer nightmare, by the by, was a lost Chinese man who explained to me in broken English that he just moved to America and needed help to get to Flushing. No one else was particularly interested in assisting the man, so I led him from train to train until I had to go in a different direction.

I didn’t mind doing it at all, but after the whole ticket thing… 50 DOLLARS? I’m not made of money, NYPD.

Once I was above ground, I phoned a law savvy friend of mine and explained the situation. I wasn’t planning on challenging the ticket, but I was curious to see what he had to say. Some quick googling of “Obstructive Seating” procured an article explaining that the law is vague; obstructive seating can include lying down, placing bags on seats, and crossing your legs.

Yes, that’s right. If you cross your legs on the NYC Subway, you are liable for a fifty dollar ticket. So… don’t wear skirts when riding the trains, ladies. Absolute insanity. The worst part of it all is that these rules are only being enforced to help make up for an ailing police budget, so I was ticketed in order to keep profits up… fucking awesome.

So, in addition to having to pay $50 dollars for obstructing ghosts from using the seats, I have to go back to Brooklyn to pay it… which is a long ass train ride there and back.

So next time, officer, just fucking shoot me instead. I’ll be happier.

AND…I have to wake up for work in three hours.